Do I have to ask people for money?

No. Here's what your job actually is.

No. You do not have to ask anyone for money to be a valuable fundraiser for your organization. That answer surprises almost every board member who hears it.

Here's the confusion. When board members hear “fundraising,” what they often picture is “asking strangers for money.”

One trustee put it well after a workshop: before that day, fundraising meant cold calls in her mind. Afterward, she understood that good fundraising is almost everything except asking strangers for money.

Ways to help with fundraising without asking.

There are many ways you can support fundraising without having to directly ask. In fact, approaching donors directly for money often fails. And it can leave a bad feeling behind, on everyone's part.

What's needed is a slower, more relationship-driven approach. You are more successful when you take the time to help donors build trust and confidence in your organization, well before you ask.

So, if you are uncomfortable asking, you can do the important donor engagement work before and after a gift. You can help introduce donors to your organization to build their confidence and trust.

And after a gift, you can help donors feel appreciated and acknowledged. When donors are acknowledged and understand the impact they are making, they’re far more likely to continue giving year after year.

These two roles are more valuable than you can ever imagine. Board members can help give donors warm experiences both before and after they give. This creates donor loyalty and increases donor retention.

Transactional vs. relationship-based fundraising.

There are two ways to raise money for a cause.

1. Transactional fundraising. This approach is all about the money. It can feel rushed and, above all, transactional. It can feel like begging, being pushy, hitting up friends, or turning a relationship into something uncomfortable.
2. Relationship fundraising. This approach puts people first. It deals with the donor as a whole person, with thoughts, passions, and personal values. It evokes real feelings and opens a donor's heart. It means finding people who already care about your cause and helping them connect with something personal to them.

There's the same goal, raising money. But it's a completely different experience, both for the person asking and for the donor. And you get completely different results.

It's easy to see how transactional asks, focusing on a monetary gift, can leave donors feeling flat. There's no real human connection in this approach.

Compare this to a relationship-based ask of someone who already feels personally committed to the cause. That kind of ask is much easier, and far more successful. You gain a long term supporter – who will stay involved - rather than a one-time monetary gift.

Current donors already in your network.

Here's the thing: among your own friends, colleagues, and acquaintances, some people are probably interested in your cause already. They may even be wildly passionate about your cause. But they don't have a way to connect.

In the same vein, your organization also has donors, right now, who love your mission. Current donors are your organization's future. Let's keep them close! It's far easier to grow a relationship you already have than to build trust with someone brand new from scratch.

So, one of the simplest ways a board member can help? Focus on the donors you already have. Make sure they feel appreciated and can see the good their giving creates.

Your job isn't necessarily to convince anyone of anything. Instead, your job is to find the people who are drawn to the cause, your true believers, and invite them in. Most board members find that's a conversation they can have with ease.

What good fundraising is not.

It helps to be clear about what this work isn't.

• It's not selling.
• It's not convincing someone to buy something they don't want.
• It's not cornering someone at an event.
• It's not a scripted pitch. The moment a conversation feels rehearsed, people notice, and it shuts down.

Nobody wants to be part of something pushy. And when fundraising feels pushy, everyone loses: the organization, and the donor who never got the chance to connect with something that could have mattered to them.

Asking vs. inviting donors.

There's a real difference between asking and inviting, as my colleague Jim Greenfield once put it to me:

“When you ask, you're pressing for a decision, putting someone on the spot. When you invite, you open a door, share something you love, and give the other person room to decide if they want to walk through.”

That's the whole spirit of this work. Not asking. Inviting.

So, do you have to ask?

No. Not if it doesn't feel like you.

What you do need to do is find the people who already care, and connect with them. The rest tends to follow.